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Has this ever happened to you? As you are out in public personally having a blast with your child; yet, your child can’t seem to behave themselves as they make a scene - insisting that they want the latest toy, and you struggle to make them behave?
The example is a common occurrence. Oftentimes, those unproductive behaviours can include yelling, screaming, throwing of tantrums, or even meltdowns.
Yet, with those unproductive behaviours occurring, it is also not recommended of us as adults to give in to those unproductive behaviours and accept their requests and demands. Although tempting, by constantly pacifying our children, it will send a signal to our child that they simply need to throw up a fuss and misbehave should they desire their needs and wants to be met, be it reasonable or unreasonable. Hence, it is crucial to understand the root causes of those unproductive behaviours, so that we can better circumvent those causes and prevent such behaviours from happening in the first place.
Lack of Expectations and Awareness
Primarily, children misbehave in public due to the lack of clear expectations and awareness regarding appropriate behavior at a respective setting. Children need routines and clear guidelines to behave appropriately. Without them, they become unsure of what is expected of them, resulting in them to act out in frustration or confusion.
For example, there was once I saw two children misbehaving in the bowling alley that I often frequent. They were rowdy, randomly throwing balls, infringing my lane boundary as they bowl. Yet, their father did not told them that what they were doing was wrong. Rather, he simply berated them to stop misbehaving and return to their seats and wait their turn. I bet you can guess how this ends. Eventually, a vicious cycle appeared - the children continued misbehaving, and their father continued scolding them to stop whatever their doing.
This example proved the crucial need of imposing clear expectations for our children to ensure that they don’t misbehave.
Unmet Needs
Oftentimes, children also misbehave when their basic needs are not met. It is definitely not their fault; a hungry, tired, or overstimulated child is more likely to throw a tantrum. Generally, the younger the child is, the more easily they will become overstimulated. And overstimulation often results in unproductive behaviours. So it’s our responsibility as adults to know what our child can handle, how easily will they become tired, what is their limit before they reach overstimulation - and so on.
Now that we know the causes of unproductive behaviours, what are the steps that we can implement to prevent such behaviours from happening?
Set Clear Expectations:
Before leaving the house, explain the purpose of the outing with your child. Where will they be going, as well as what they will be doing are all key details to share. Upon sharing, further explain to them how you expect them to behave, and what are the consequences for not following the rules.
Stay Consistent:
Structure is key. Enact and enforce the rules that you have set with your child previously, and follow through with consequences if they misbehave. Such will help your child understand that the rules set previously together with them are meant to be followed and respected, and that there are boundaries they must not cross.
Positive Reinforcement:
This is my favorite step. “Catch” your child doing good by praising their good behavior. You may even throw in a reward at the end of the day for their effort of behaving. Such helps acknowledges their efforts to behave well. Whether it’s through verbal praise, stickers, or a small treat, the utilization of positive reinforcement will further motivate them to behave well.
Engage Them:
Keep your child engaged. Engagement is key in preventing unproductive behaviours. Bring along their favorite activities/toys, involve them in conversations, or play simple games to keep their minds occupied and reduce the likelihood of boredom-induced misbehavior. Above all, bring along items that will help meet their needs, such as extra snacks or water. You know your child triggers and needs, so pack items that can better help your child.
In the end, by understanding the reasons behind your child’s public misbehavior and thereafter implementing these steps, you can create more enjoyable outings for both you and your child. Eventually, the need for you to scold your child in public will decrease exponentially!
Like what you just read? Do remember to share this article with your friends! If you have any other strategies to share in teaching your child to behave in public, do share it in the comments below!
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