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I get it - it is hard to get your child's attention. Frequently, they are running about, too excited, and too active, which makes it hard for you to grasp their attention.
And when you finally get their attention, it is hard to sustain their attention as they will disobey you or not pay attention.
So how do we grasp their attention most effectively? Well, in this article, I will be talking about four steps that you can take that will help ensure that your child will have your attention.
Number 1: Ensure that they know that you are talking to them.
When you are trying to get their attention, maybe because the environment is too hectic, or perhaps just due to some miscommunication issue, the child doesn't know that you are trying to reach out to him. This happens all the time - you cannot get their attention because they do not know that someone is asking for their attention, and we should not blame the child for that.
The above scenario happened to me before. As an Early Childhood student in Singapore, we must go out for practicum every year to hone our teaching skills and apply whatever we learn in the classroom. During one of my practicum sessions, I talked to a child and advised him to keep his sheets in his bag after nap time; but he wouldn't comply. When my mentor teacher intervened and asked that child if he understood what I was saying and knew I was talking to him, the child turned his head in visible confusion.
Not going to lie; that experience made me feel bad. This proves that we must ensure that the child knows we are trying to reach out to him. To achieve that, we can go down to their height and look directly at them until they look up and eye contact is maintained. Once eye contact is maintained, that is when you have their attention - and you are free to speak whatever you need to the child.
Doing that ensures that the child is focused on you and knows you are trying to talk to him.
Number 2: Use concise wording; short and sweet sentences are the best.
Another mistake we might have made while trying to get the children's attention is that our instructions are too wordy.
When trying to get their attention, instead of using long-winded phrasing, get to the point of what you are trying to say. Often, children will not understand what is expected of them to do if we give out long and wordy instructions as they still may not be capable of doing so - even adults sometimes don't too! Another reason long-winded instructions will not get their attention is that too many instructions and information are thrown at them, making them confused and not want to follow them.
Again, when I was out for my practicum session, there was an instance when it was time for them to wear their shoes for outdoor play; I said, "please wear your shoes now; we are going out to play with the tricycles!" - half of the children just went out without wearing their shoes. When my mentor teacher asked those that didn't wear their shoes if they understood what I was trying to say, they shook their head again.
So, for example, instead of saying, "Please wear your shoes, we are going out now", you can say, "wear your shoes, please."
Just by keeping it short and sweet, the main point of your instruction has become more evident, and your child will more likely understand what you are saying and be able to have your attention. The child will know that he is expected to wear his shoes first and not be confused if he should go out first and then wear his shoes.
Number 3: Praise them and scold them accordingly.
We will already be getting your children's attention when we praise them, which will cause them to behave more proper and be attentive to you should you ask for it. But remember, when we are praising them, we will need to praise them precisely on the specific actions we are praising them for.
For example, if they are trying to clean the house, you can praise them by saying, "good cleaning effort, Xanadu!"
By praising them specifically for their actions, not only will you get your children's attention, but they will also know what they are getting praised for. As a result, this will show the child that you have been paying attention to him, and he will be more likely to behave and give you his attention should you ask for it, possibly because he wants to receive more praise from you too. Sometimes, it is also okay to throw in a reward besides just praising!
Moreover, according to research, such methods can help build neural connections within the brain, which can help reduce the chances of brain impairment - so to me, this is a double win!
So similarly, when you are scolding them, tell them precisely what you do not like about their actions, why you do not want them, and what they can do in the future to improve.
And always remember, when trying to praise or scold them, ensure that they know that you are talking to them - use number 1 for reference!
Number 4: Be instructional rather than giving restriction
Yes, I know, giving out restrictions is technically an instruction. But hear me out.
If we provide our children with restrictions, not only will they not follow them because they are known to be defiant creatures, but because setting out restrictions is unpleasant. It makes them feel restricted and controlled, which will give them all the more reasons not to pay attention to you.
But then again, we need restrictions to ensure that the children know their boundaries and behave appropriately, right? Well then, here is when we switch it up by changing the restrictions message to instructions instead.
For example, if you do not want your children to talk loudly, instead of telling them to talk softer, you can try saying instead, "use your indoor voice." When you do not want them to run about, you can try to say, "use your walking feet!"
So, my point is, instead of telling them what they can't do, tell them what they can do according to your desires and needs. That way, it will make things much more pleasant and ensure their attention is on you. Hearing instructions on what to do is always better than hearing restrictions on what not to do.
And again, please remember to ensure that the child knows you are talking to him. See number 1 for reference.
And there you have it; these are the four methods that you can use to ensure that you have your child's attention. If you like what you have just read, comment your thoughts below, and share with us what other ways you use to get your child's attention.
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